Half Man Half Noodle

Aussie Osbourne

Ozzy Osbourne woke up on Feb. 19, 1982, still drunk and wearing a dress. He stumbled from his hotel room and emptied a full bladder on the nearest statue. Unfortunately for him it turned out to be the Alamo, a treasured national monument in San Antonio, Texas. Osbourne was barred from playing the city until years later when he donated $10,000 dollars to the organisation that maintains the Alamo grounds.

“We all have done things in our lives that we regret, I am deeply honoured that the people of San Antonio have found it in their hearts to have me back. I hope that this donation will show that I have grown up.”

This isn’t about learning from your mistakes, growing up or honouring national treasures (Ozzy Osbourne) but switching off. When I was 15, Ozzy represented everything I thought was cool; he invented heavy metal, was an absolute mentalist and played with the greatest guitarists. I had no interest in anything that wasn’t Ozzy. I would come home from school, blitz through my homework so I get lost playing along to Blizzard of Ozz, not a care in the world. It’s easy to romanticise the blissful state of childhood before responsibility took hold.

The reason I write this, is because I’ve been struggling to switch off. Lockdown has brought me from the slovenly depths of over-indulgence through to a period of hyper-productivity. Struggling to  watch a movie without thinking about what else I could be doing with that time. Whilst it’s “positive” (and ironic considering it took so much time to switch on) it’s frustrating. Switching off is a common problem. Whether it’s getting to sleep, focusing on a single task or leaving work at work. It could be because you’re worried or filled with ideas, either way it’s not letting your brain take the break it needs.

The answer for me has seemingly been in revisiting the very thing that brought me solace as a teenager – the back catalogue of the Prince of Darkness.  If you’re struggling to switch off, try revisiting the music, hobbies, films or books that you loved before you knew it took effort to switch off.


Essential Ozzy Tracks

  1. Crazy Train – Blizzard of Ozz (Ozzy)
  2. Bark At The Moon – Bark At The Moon (Ozzy)
  3. Mr Crowley – Blizzard of Ozz (Ozzy)
  4. No More Tears – No More Tears (Ozzy)
  5. War Pigs – Paranoid (Black Sabbath)

*Do yourself a favour and don’t listen to anything after 2001