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Tough situations require tough questions. 15 questions to guide the way

The following 15 questions have been taken from a twitter thread by Ankur Waikoo. Tough situations are inevitable. And just because you go through tough situations, it doesn’t mean you learn, or reflect. These 15 questions will help you look for what’s at the root of the issue and aid in preventing repeating the same mistakes.

Question 1:

Do I need this or do I want this?

Need is a necessity. Want is a desire.

Whatever it is that you are going after, is that a necessity or a desire?

It is amazing how much of our time goes in fulfilling desires, disregarding our needs.

Question 2:

What else could this mean?

“My boss isn’t talking to me because she hates me!”

“What else could it mean?”

“I’m not happy, but this must be just a phase”

“What else could it mean?”

Go beyond your most obvious explanations.

Question 3:

What is this telling me?

“I haven’t been able to raise funds for a year now”

Wha is this telling me?

“Every time I wake up I feel tired”

What is this telling me?

Our emotions/situations/circumstances are always telling us something.

Listen to them.

Question 4:

Forget the world. WHAT DO I WANT?

We do not realize how much of our life we end up living because the world tells us that’s the way to live life.

Have we ever stopped to ask, if that is what we want to do?

Question 5:

Will this matter 3 months from now?

Our emotions are real. So real that they seem permanent.

But they’re not.

Once the emotions are gone and we have given ourselves time and space, will what we are going through still matter?

Question 6:

What is the worst thing that will happen? Will I be ok if it happens?

Our mind wants to protect us from danger. So it creates worst case scenarios and forces us to not take action.

Once we imagine them vividly we realize that most worst cases are not that bad.

Question 7:

Do they give me energy or take energy from me?

People, after every interaction, either leave you with more energy than you had, or less energy than you had.

Who are you spending more time with?

Question 8:

Why might I be feeling this way?

I am angry. What about this situation makes me angry? Why do I think this makes me angry?

I am jealous. Why?

I am unhappy. Why?

There is always a reason. Once we find that reason, the reason for that emotion to exist goes away.

Question 9:

Whose view of me, matters the most to me, right now?

We are, all the time, trying to create an image. An image of ourselves in front of someone else.

It is important to always know who that someone else is.

Could it be our own self.

Question 10:

Is this urgent?

Most things that we think are important are not important. They are just urgent.

But because the urgent things are shouting on top of their voices to be heard, they seem important.

Being aware of the difference, makes all the difference.

Question 11:

What do they know that I do not know?

Every time we disagree with someone’s views, it is because they see the world differently from us and know something that we don’t.

Finding that out, makes us more aware.

We don’t have to agree. But we have to understand.

Question 12:

Who will I be, if I overcome this fear?

Scared of committing?

Think of who you will be, if you overcome this fear!

Scared of quitting?

Think of who you will be, if you overcome this fear!

Behind every fear, is a person you want to be.

Question 13:

Will I do it even if no one ever knew?

Want to learn a new language, sport, skill?

Will you do it even if no one ever knew?

Want to help someone?

Will you do it even if no one ever knew?

Do we do things because we want people to know?

Or because we want to do them

Question 14:

What’s the next order consequence?

I eat a chocolate and love the sweet feeling.

Next order consequence?

I get fat.

I binge watch for 30 min more and feel great

Next order consequence?

I don’t get enough sleep.

What happens after your first feeling?

Question 15:

Why not?

There will be 10,000 reasons why you shouldn’t do what you want to do.

You need only 1 reason to do it.

Most of life’s problems are a result of our inability to have an honest and objective conversation with our own selves. Wrestle these tough situations, armed with these reflective questions.